First, here are a few of the worst, collected by Intern Kyle and myself. It's a list of disappointment, of broken promises, and most importantly, of no nudity.

Of course, you can pick up your iPhone right now and go to a porn site. It's a smartphone. It has the internet. Some sites even have iPhone-optimized video streaming and navigation, because apparently, just like on every other device that's been connected to the internet, people use their smartphone for porn. This is an inevitability.

And Apple has a ratings system in the App Store. It has a 17+ rating, for apps with violent, crude or sexual content—or app that have a browser function, which could be used to access objectionable content. Most of the apps above are 17+, which means that if parents so choose, they can block their iPhone-having children from even being able to download them. It follows that they could do the same for 18+ apps, so why haven't they?

I can understand Apple not wanting to get into the porn business, which, by taking 30% of developers' revenue, I guess they would sort of be doing. But the current setup just doesn't make any sense. You can buy an app with a built-in browser, which can access the most horrible smut on the web, and get a 17+ rating. But if you link said app to one of those sites, and disable general browsing, suddenly it's verboten. Again, I can understand how we ended up here, but the results, as you've seen, are depressing.

It's fair to say that most people just assume there are porn apps, when there really aren't. But there are hundreds of apps that look like porn apps, cost money, and that are, effectively, bait-and-switch scams. Apple can fix this in two ways: they can open the floodgates and just let people have their real porn apps, which would effectively kill these in-between semi-porn apps, or they can revise how the App Store works: by instituting a 24-hour open return policy for paid apps, like the Android Market has, people would simply return these worthless apps, and developers, now unable to trick people into giving them boner money, would stop making them. They would tumble down the rankings and into oblivion.

Anyway, no matter what Apple does, people will continue to look at photos of naked humans on their iPhones. It may make the company squirm, but there's no reason to pretend it's not happening, and to let scammers screw up the App Store more than they already have. So do something, Apple! The fate of the world depends on it, a little!

I don't know how I haven't heard of Mark or his work before, but I'm stunned now that I have. Like I said, the man is outrageously talented and able to use little more than paint, a few accessories, and the human body to create costume-like appearances. He's done work on many conventions, been published various times, and has worked with companies such as World Wrestling Entertainment, Maxim, Playboy, and Heineken.

You can check out his portfolio, but I've gone ahead and gathered up images from my favorite sets here, including the very first one that caught my eye, Mark's gorgeous Star Wars-themed art:

You might notice that a majority of his canvases are female, and of course those are the first to call to our attention, but Mark has in fact painted a few fellows as well, including some of the superheroes in this mix:

Amazing. Follow the link for more of Mark's work. [Mark Greenawalt]

All images from Mark Greenawalt

This is apparently an unaired clip fromThe Real World/Road Rules Challenge and the gal teaching everyone the implant-detection trick supposedly had one of her implants bust at some point. Youch! While I feel sorry for her, this is still one party trick that I can't wait to try out. [Jezebel]

Click through to the gallery below for the NSFW (and totally baffling) pic.

If you want to rap along to what these boys are calling "a Mac fanboy's anthem about Apple culture and products," here are the words:

(Shortayyy) Ahh shit!
Get your laptops ready, it's about to go down
Everybody on YouTube, watch the f***in screen
But stay on this muthaf***in page
We runnin this - let's go

I'm on a Mac, I'm on a Mac
Everybody look at me
Cause I'm clickin on a Mac
I'm on a Mac, I'm on a Mac
Take a good hard look at the muthaf***in Mac!

I'm on a Mac, muthaf***a, take a look at me,
Straight iPhone'in hard, got the 3G
Bumpin iTunes, CoverFlow to be exact
You can't stop me muthaf***a, cause I'm on a Mac!
Eat a virus bro
I'm on a Mac Pro
We rockin 8 cores hard
Watch the screen go
I got my SuperDrive
And my mighty mice-es
I'm pluggin girls
You at work, pluggin in devices
I'm on a tandem fixie
And a 64-bit
Friends are jealous
Cause Parallels can run their sh*t
But this ain't P.C.,
this is real as it gets
I'm on a Mac, mutherf***er
don't you ever forget!
I'm on a Mac and,
it's runnin fast and,
I bought a neopreen green scuba sleve sham
I'm the king of the Jobs, on a Mac for real
If you're on a PC, then you're not C.E.O.

Get the f*** up, this Mac is real!
F*** a Zune, I'm on a Mac, motherf***a!
F*** right click, multi-touch, motherf***a!
I'm on iChat with my boys, motherf***a!
These turtlenecks ain't cheap, motherf***a!
Hey, y'all, now I'm an Apple whiz
I never need to learn what a driver is
Gonna say goodbye to all viruses
Like a Nano in pink, anything is possible!
Yeah, never thought I'd be on a Mac
It's like a streamlined good-for-you crack
Wozniiiaaaaak, look at me ooohhhh

I'm on a Mac, I'm on a Mac
Take a good hard look at the muthaf***in Mac!

Yeah, this is almost amusing enough to make me want to order a muthaf****in Mac despite it not being the best time to shop for those. [Thanks, Peter!]

Called Intimacy, the dress' smart fabric reacts to variations in the electric current, smoothly changing its opacity until it gets completely transparent—and viceversa. The change is controlled by a ball, which has an RF tag that gets detected by circuitry in the dress' collar. On a related note, this is what happens to my underpants whenever my fiancée gets close to me, with no RF tag involved whatsoever. [Roosegaarde and v2 via Styleguru via Fashion Tech]

Yes, now she's very hard to miss. And in three-dee! No amount of Photoshop work could fix this one. [Painted Alive—Thanks David Keyes]

You're going to want to check out Carl Zimmer's full article about what exactly is going on here. Essentially, evolution has caused duck penises and duck vaginas to adapt into pretty wild and complex contraptions, with the penises unfurling into clockwise corkscrew shapes while the vaginas have evolved into counter-clockwise passageways with multiple pockets. And you thought your vagina was impressive!

Seriously, go check out the article to give this video some context. If nothing else, it'll provide you with a deeply inappropriate anecdote to tell your extended family over dinner tonight. [Discover Magazine]

People have been dreaming about loving giant women (or becoming giant women, for that matter) forever. But the Internet has fostered a really vibrant, creative community of people who've created artwork and lore. This fetish has a fancy name: macrophilia, according to this 1999 Salon article. There are actually two different types of macrophilia porn: There are women who've been hit with growth rays (or growth viruses) turning them into giants. And then there are men who've been hit with shrink rays or whatnot. The science-fiction origins of this fetish rest with movies like Attack OF The 50 Foot Woman and The Incredible Shrinking Man.

If you want to get the total awesomeness of giantess fetish, you have to go with artwork, which allows creators' imaginations to run wild. There are tons and tons of message boards and groups where people post their favorite art showing massive women and the doll-like men who love them. A lot.

And some of our favorite giantess art comes from Dream Tales, which kindly allowed us to feature a few images from their comics:

But adherents to this fetish also post tons and tons of homemade Photoshop collages, showing scantily dressed or naked women stomping across cities and trampling little men, including the one above, and these masterpieces:

There's even a giantess and shrunken men Flickr pool, where people post their own creations.

On the other hand, if you want actual professionally shot giantess porn, that exists as well. There are tons of pay porn sites that feature staged photos of women in their underwear, smashing model cities and stepping on toy soldiers. There's even HebrewGiantess.com, for those of you who just desperately needed "point of view" shots of a man looking up at a skyscraper-sized Jewish woman. Here are some of our favorite pay-site images:

But like many other niche fetishes, the love of giant women is (wait for it) big in Japan. Just check out this scene from a live-action video, featuring a man who's been shrunk to the size of a doll. The movie also includes scenes where the woman stimulates the helpless little man's tiny penis with a giant Q-tip. And the man climbs inside her vagina. But here's a nice scene where she licks his face and then he climbs onto her breast:

And then there's some amazing manga and hentai art from Japan, showing — among other things, a giant woman having sex with a giant robot.

Fans have also collected these amazing Kookai ads, featuring giant women and tiny men (via the defunct GTSFeet site):

So obviously, giantess porn, to some extent, is a fantasy about female power — women who grow to the size of a mountain are stand-ins for powerful women everywhere. But at the same time, you have to love the playfulness and sheer weirdness of the huge females crushing cities with the sheer force of their voluptuousness.

It works easily: Just take a photo, apply a censorship patch out of a total of four kinds, and save. I like the silk patch, which apparently lets you send photos with a censorship you can see through. Unfortunately, I have no use for this application. I still sext in the old school way: Using text messages.

F:)Cd==I

See? Me so horny. [Safe Sexting]

The folks at io9 think that the "zombie cyborg" has gone too far with this bizarre photo shoot, and I think I would agree if I actually knew what the message she's trying to convey is. Anyone got a clue?

[Daily Mail via io9]

I'm not talking about obvious screwups like Microsoft whitewashing their Polish advertising campaign (which they apologized for), or Intel's obviously unfortunate—but probably accidental—Core 2 Duo campaign. I'm talking about ads that never got pulled, never prompted an apology, and that, to most people, probably seem harmless. Who, dear readers, will be the 1949 GE of 2060? And for what? Racism? Sexism? Some as-of-yet-unnoticed *ism? Am I oversimplifying what constitutes progress? Difficult questions!

More to the point, will my kids watch these PSP ads in history class, come home, and ask me why I was such a terrible human, back in 2009?


Yep, probably. Post your best guesses in the comments, about, you know, the future. [CopyRanter]

Honestly, I don't even know why this caught my attention, but somehow curiosity had me refreshing the site every few minutes just so see what happens. Will that girl strip? Will the next minute bring a different lady? Is she going to...do something with that stick?

Yes, you can certainly check the time by glancing at your system clock, but this is somehow so much more fun, especially since it'll be quite a while before you've seen all 1440 images. Unless you sit there refreshing the page for 24 hours straight, that is. [AV-Tokei via Asiajin]

Best use of a LED in a very long time. [Thanks David Keyes]

Video Shows Mysterious Stranger Hiding Out in NYC Apartment Crawlspace

This is a video that's been making the rounds lately, but I've never seen it and it sparked a lot of discussion amongst the staff this morning. That it's fake we could all agree on, but exactly why—that we couldn't decide. A viral video? But for what? What could be the purpose of faking such an odd thing, besides hundreds of thousands of YouTube views? Take a look and see for yourself. [YouTube]

Free LCD TV—Nevermind the Burned-In Gay Porn

This is a pretty great prank. I'll let the Craigslist listing explain it:

My room mate thought it would be "hysterical" to pause gay porn on my TV while my girlfriend and I were on vacation for 2 weeks, thus burning and image into the screen. So...If you dont mind a sillouette of a skinny white guy taking a load in the face from the biggest black penis in recorded history forever adorning your new TV, Its yours.

Childish, yes. Hilarious, also yes. [Craigslist]

Facebook Allows Users to Gift iTunes Giftcards to Other Users

This ends up in Remainders because I am literally snoring right now, as I type this, but Facebook is now allowing users to buy and deliver iTunes giftcards through the site. You can choose which date the gift will be delivered (like, say, a birthday), which is actually a pretty nice feature. This is, unfortunately, US-only for now, because people who hate freedom enough to resist living in the Land of the Free don't deserve iTunes gift cards. [TUAW]

Seppukoo Lets You Kill Your Facebook Self

It sounds kind of interesting in theory: An entire site dedicated to eradicating Facebook profiles. It must be some kind of statement on avoiding association with social networking, right? Well, no; it's actually just another social networking site, trying to get you to cancel your account with the most popular one. It's not going so well, either—apparently only six people "killed" their profiles yesterday. [Techie]

That's exactly what the official Playboy iPhone app does. It also includes "exclusive content", like a non-nude Playmate video and free wallpapers—not exactly free, since you are paying for the app—but that's about it. Still not interested? Maybe this bit from their iTunes description page will convince you:

If you want to be dialed into what's new from the world's top entertainment and lifestyle magazine for men (and what man wouldn't?) Playboy is the app you need!

I quoted that word by word.

And as if that wasn't lame enough, here's another gem: This is a subscription app. Any assclown who actually gets this would have to pay $1.99 a month to get new content in.

Is this how the publishing industry expects to save itself? Are there any idiots that would subscribe to this thing? [iTunes Store via Krapps]

I guess with that price, odds are that it's probably the kitchen tool. Geez. Talk about a tease after all those borderline-NSFW puns.